I wrote this last month for my writer’s group. Might as well share it now.
It seems to me that the world started falling apart after you were hit. Of course it’s not a sudden thing, but the clarity of it, no one can ignore. It’s been a week since the election. My heart is so heavy. You led me through so many of these things in the world, we’d hash these concepts out in the safety of our own walls. I didn’t always agree, but over time, I saw that you were most often right. No matter what, at least we weren’t alone. I miss having you here for this, it’s hard to be alone at home with my thoughts about humanity. It used to be us against the world within our walls. Now it’s just me by myself.
I used to half-joke that when David Bowie left the planet in January, he knew what he was doing. And as the year progressed, many of his kindred spirits decided to heed the call from space. The men who fell to earth took off again. 2016 has been a tough year, I wish you hadn’t left me alone in it. I know you held on as long as you could. You never meant to leave me.
This is a different kind of loneliness than I’ve felt for you yet. The truth is…even with your mind and body so severely disabled, we still had each other. There was purpose in caring for you, great love from the soul. And now that you are gone, the world has become even weirder and it seems the accepted rules of society are suddenly merely guidelines, it seems. Everything is upside down and tragic. I feel the pain of your absence anew. I still have to live in this changed world, and figure it out without you.
Justine’s lates drawing.