September15/16: best of times/worst of times. As you already know, I love my birthday and try to squeeze as much enjoyment out of it as I can. My wedding anniversary, which falls the following day (I’ve never liked that) is kind of hard—well, the last two. It’s not a fun day to celebrate anymore. Of course I filled it up with other things, but the thoughts still lingered. I took the day off and didn’t even drive to say hello. And there was no guilt.
Today, however, I was ready for company, and I got a great reaction when he saw me coming. “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DARLING!” I greeted him. The nearby aid thought it very romantic and took our picture.
I had a Care Plan Meeting today with some of the administrators. They wanted to discuss the issue with his swallowing. They still find it too big a risk for me to be feeding him any liquids or food. It came up that it might be possible for me to sign a waiver and feed him on my own, but they weren’t making promises. I told them I’d like to look into it more, look more closely at the risks of aspiration. It’s hard as I think cognitively it would help him greatly, but I’m not a doctor and have to respect the suggestions I receive from those who are.
They also told me that because of his feeding tube, he still benefits by requiring skilled nursing care, according to the MediCal system. But they consider him a long-term patient, unlikely to live at home again, unless I push for it. I don’t know what to say. I’ve been seeing a lot of hope lately, I guess I’m back to believing in his healing more than the staff is. It’s the way I choose to look at him. It’s better for him that I do.
One good thing that came out of the meeting though is that I asked if we could plan for him to come home for Christmas day. And they said, “Yes of course!” So I need to figure out wheelchair transportation, etc. But it got me so excited to be allowed to have that plan for him. They thought he might even be able to sit in the back of a car with a seatbelt as long as we transferred him properly.
Ok then, I was given the news that he might never live with us again (from the mouths of the medical pros) and then the news that even now, I can take him outside, if I just organize it properly. In order to get him ready for travel, they will need to start working more closely on his standing/sitting transition skills, which is great. Anything we can get is helpful now.
I’m taking off on a little road trip to get way for a couple of days. Thanks, mom and dad, for taking the kids.
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Great news about Christmas. Wishing you a good trip away. Thanking your parents too! This is when I wish I could step in and have the kids – wouldn’t that be great. Imagine now how nicely Jenni and Justine would play together when they are 1 year older. Would be so nice with a catch up. Lots of love
move to California! 🙂 easier said than done,I know. We’d love to have you near.
That is great news about Christmas 🙂 I agree, goals are good. I’m praying for his ability to stand and sit-for easier transition.
I’m truly sorry about the bitter sweet Birthday/anniversary combo…
Praying for a special weekend.
Much love K
bitter sweet times but we have to have faith in Gids plan. For wheelchair transport the rehab center used M&K for my Dad and I cintinued to use them when needed. Let me know and I can forward their contact info. Best Randy
Dear Allison,
Have a great few days away to just be you. And happy anniversary and birthday even tho it is bittersweet. I know we have to mind the doctors but it makes him and you feel so much better to give a drink. We will just have to prayer a little harder for Vernon and maybe he will get more of his swallowing back. We serve a great God and He can provide things that we never realized. Have a good few days away.
Becky
Thinking about you, A! Sending you love and white light for this journey you are on.
Yeeee haw– Justine and I Gotta work on our- “Coming home for Christmas” song! ..
I’m not giving up hope either. I do believe he will come home for good. He’s made so much progress just in the last month!
Praying for God’s peace in this situation. We can’t believe everything we hear. One day, one step..that’s all we’re required to take. Happy anniversary sweetheart. I’ll never forget the 1st day we met Vernon in person and the glow in his eyes when he saw you. So magical to be there and witness that gorgeous event in your lives. And your joy on the plane ride home…and your 1st comment- is he shorter than I thought? 🙂
Such sweet pictures…….Happy Anniversary! May your time away be sweet, Allison.
So much in this post that happened in just one day is a lot for you to take in. ….but I’ve watched and read how you do walk through and ponder and pray about each thing. I imagine it like being on a roller coaster…….the ups and the downs, the laughter and the tears, etc. Prayers for you…..for Vernon……and for your family!!!!!!
…..and Christmas….Oh the excitement of that and all that must be done to see that happen. Praying for ALL of that!!!
Love to you and a hug from here ( ) …….May this little time away minister to your heart! Much love,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU BOTH!! I remember your first meeting at the airport ..didn`t go quite to plan did it?? ..and i remember the first time i spoke with you over the computer ..the first time you came over to mine for a meal … and ofcause i remember how Vern spoke about you (with that smile in his eyes) ..his first trip to be with you in America.. the day he told me he was getting married .. the smile shone in his eyes..although i couldn`t be with you both on your wedding day..mum and dad said it was so touching ( i also remember the changing of flights for my parnets!! we can laugh about that now!!) you have both shared some wonderful times both in Reading, England and in California..i so hope you get to spend Christmas day together ..and who knows Vern will be home with you and the children ..together ..just how it should be !
xx love you lots xx