Hi everyone, this is Chris.
I arrived at the Moore residence about an hour after Vernon. He was in a rather comfortable looking bed I might say. After a few minutes of getting his thoughts together he decided he wanted to come out and visit.
With my work schedule and young children I don’t have the luxury of visiting Vernon as much as I’d like. In the early days I was able to work remotely and keep a close eye on his progress and try to constantly stimulate his memories. That being said my viewpoint may be a little skewed due to the time between visits.
I was fighting back tears much of my visit with Vernon. Not the tears of frustration and anger I’ve had previously but tears of joy. Not the type of joy you may have say after you have your first child is born, but the type of joy you have after surviving a long battle with depression. The type you get when a particular scene in a movie makes you realize that life really is a bundle of crap and somewhere inside that lies the beauty of it all. Or maybe it’s the type of joy a platoon feels after a long battle, they may have lost some of their friends in the fight along with their innocence, but there is a measure of deep joy nonetheless. A measure of gratitude. A richer appreciation for life.
For the last 18 months I’ve been asked how is Vernon doing? I mean, how is he REALLY doing? It is difficult to put a number on his progress. On a scale from 1 to 10…in the beginning he was a 0, then a 1, then a 2. I’d say now he is probably a 5. He’s confused. Many times completely bewildered by what the hell is going on and who the people around him are. Other times he’s angry. Then other times he’s the most gentle and loving person I know. He says some of the most beautiful things. He is like a child and an adult. He’s a dad (and a good one). He’s also completely helpless.
But he is more capable today than he has been since the accident.
Vernon has continued to make strides forward. He will never be the Vernon he was, but the Vernon he has become is a lot like the person we probably all are on the inside.
My lesson from Vernon for this Thanksgiving is to let a bit more of my inside show on the outside.
58
WOW – WOW – WOW – So much Love in these posts…and this one…YES, We all have much to learn from the Adams family! Lovely – Thank you for sharing!
Hi Chris ..thankyou for sharing your thoughts of being with Vern..touched my heart ..yep Vern is an amazing dad ..and under that brain injury (and other health problems) is that quiet , thoughtful man, with a wicked sense of humour .. not to say when Vern was on a mission he did like a good fight for the under dog and for what was right!! ..maybe under all that, he is fighting to be “Vern” again from the inside !!
love to you all from us all across the pond xx
I just read your comment and had to smile Vanessa. You know Chris is *so* good at asking the best questions to draw Vernon’s memories out, he had Vern going on about his favorite soccer team on Thanksgiving. And since I can never remember players names and how many times they won etc. I stated that I like rooting for the underdog. And Vernon wholeheartedly chimed in that he enjoyed rooting for the underdog as well. And for a moment we were agreeing exactly on what you mention here.<3
Chris,
What you had to say was so good. Vern is coming along but agree that he will never be the old Vern but maybe a better Vern. Thanksgiving was delightful at the Moore’s in Dana Point.
Good writing Chris.
Becky