In my last post, I spoke about how unlikely it is that Vernon as-we-once-knew-him will be coming back. But giving up on him is out of the question. He still has life in him. He’s still here. He can talk. He can hear. He can see. And he can paint. That’s pretty much all he is capable of, but those aren’t nothing, are they? In fact, for me, they would probably the last things I’d want to let go of too.
Sometimes I think about this quote by Brene Brown: “The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.” True or not, it makes a compelling case for making something fresh, something your own, staking a claim. It’s a way to move the balance from all the unfairness somehow. It gets something out of you into the world instead.
Vernon was put into a wheelchair after Justine and I took him out for a very short (and stressful) drive in the car the other day. He was in an impatient mood but he was up for painting a bit. I recognized the shape he made immediately. A wheelchair.
So I asked him to make another…
Then he just took off…
(my fault on choice of paint)
I started thinking that maybe painting (albeit frustrating for Vernon and sometimes those helping him) would be a way to discover the “New Vernon.” Obviously, he could always draw and paint, but perhaps he’ll be freer this round or develop a new style. Who knows? They will be small steps, regardless.
But he can see and he can paint. Therefore, he can still contribute while he is here.
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And he can feel the sun on his face, I like that photo/moment you used above — we can all relate to that feeling of soaking the rays in. <3
love the photograph of Vern in the sun ….he has always liked the outside…and just like a child learning to express themselves … he is painting his thoughts ..his frustrations..my gosh he must be so frustrated , so angry .. so sad ..at what his life has become ..but he is a fighter ..come on Vern , we are behind you !!
xx love to you all , and a big ,big hug to my brother “you are amazing” xx
Allison,
Yes, there is a lot that Vern can do even tho you may have to make adjustments he is still there and is loving you and the children. Take care of you so you can take care of Vern and Maki and Justine. You have a lot to do to make them all feel loved.
Hugs,
Becky
You are so right, as always Allison. If the painting can give Vernon a tiny bit of purpose a lot is achieved. Maybe try to set up still life? Painting still life is always such a great task if you lack nature motifs. Lots of love!
Dear Allison,
I long to know how to encourage you, but I can’t find the words. But reading your blog encourages both my wife and I and we pray for you each time we retire to bed. (We have a list of people we pray for.)God is sovereign and He knows how to encourage you.
Wow, these paintings are amazing! As an (ex)art teacher, I was immediately impressed that he understands perspective and can convey a three dimensional shape through lines. That demonstrates visual intelligence.
I’m curious to know if he is getting scheduled physio or occupational therapy (apart from the excellent work you do with him!). I remember seeing pics from when he was in a different facility showing staff working to help him to stand up. Hope that he’s getting lots of similar opportunities at the facility he’s at now. I’m just an outside observer and don’t know what the funding situation is, but I would expect that getting him to stand and potentially walk again should be written into their rehabilitation goals for him. Maybe his doctor needs to give things a bit of a nudge.
Feeling for you…you need some time to use your own gifts and have regular breaks from being a carer…it’s exhausting work! You also need the chance to focus on your own goals for the future and that of the kids. I’m asking God to bless your socks off in this year ahead, and beyond. xo