While bagging my groceries, the Trader Joe’s cashier revealed she’d been a young widow for four years and was often challenged with how to get the kids to all their activities. I told her that though I’m not a widow, my husband’s injuries have put us in a similar bind. “How are the kids recovering from the loss,” I asked.

Then she said: “You just have to filter your emotions in front of them.”  

I wanted to write it down so I don’t forget. Those words stayed with me the whole drive home. I don’t know exactly what she meant, or where she was personally coming from, but the words seemed right and true. I’m thinking of them today as I start to share Justine’s point of view. The advice works both ways. They kids should be able to filter their emotions too.

I’m hoping that more frequent use of the mat will help Vernon get out some of his pent-up energy so he’ll be able to sit longer at dialysis. The problem is, Mesa Verde and the dialysis center, though both in Costa Mesa, are two separate trips. Maybe next year, when Justine has a longer school day like Maki, I’ll be able to do both in one go. But for now, this means she has to come with me on an extra Tuesday afternoon. Don’t feel too bad for her—she gets to go to fun swimming lessons and have play dates the other afternoons…but she doesn’t like “going too much.”

I know it helps me to write out the thoughts I’m confused over, so I suggested she could write her own post. I only dictated what she told me.

Justine’s Post

I love visiting Dad, but I feel like its too much for me. Dad has been in the nursing home for a long, long time, and I’ve visited him for a long, long time.

I feel like I go there too much and I don’t like to go to there too much. It’s not nice for me, even though I love to visit him.

What don’t you like:

It’s not fun just at a nursing home…there is nothing fun to do there. Because the parents and the grownups think its more fun than children…like me. I just wish it could be more fun at a nursing home for kids.

What do you like:

I like that its fun for children that get to visit their friends or family, because its fun to see them…even when you are children.

Basically, she likes seeing her dad but she hates going to the nursing home.  And there you have it…out of the mouth of a babe. She also took some pictures of Vernon and me.

I got some of them too.

Also, it was a two-bird visit yesterday. I finally figured out that I could sign up Joe to know all the medical comings and goings. Now if Vernon goes to the hospital, Joe can know where he is or even when he’s returning, which will give him greater peace of mind.