The memories continue to resurface from last year. I hope people don’t mind my sharing so many of them. I wonder if I’ll do the same next year. Maybe. Why not? I don’t want to forget. As I’ve said before, its a lot like childbirth…such a significant thing that it seems a waste to simply forget it. And for me, talking about things helps me validate them, helps them seem real even after the events are over. I don’t know if I’m honoring his life this way because he was so much more than this for his nearly-50 years, but I am certainly trying to honor his death (which was one of the most significant parts of it.)
Here was a delightful, yet sad, memory that showed up today on Facebook. Do you remember this? He’s eating chocolate ice cream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYNZ4p0DjOE
He hadn’t been officially allowed to eat anything for years (although we did sneak him milkshakes and chocolate when no one was looking, things he could safely swallow without breaking into a choking fit) but when I finally signed off on his Advanced Directive, the nursing home allowed him to have whatever he wanted from the cafeteria. And all he wanted was chocolate ice cream…ambrosia of the gods. It was such a gift to be able to give him some small pleasure. I love remembering how he enjoyed it.
Today, I got a letter in the mail from the hospice company. They send check up letters every so often, just to show they still care, but I haven’t taken them up on any of their offers of support. (I should, I just get so busy.) Anyway, today’s letter included a lovely poem by Margaret Mead. This stood out to me especially as she was one of my early paintings this year in my Groundbreaking Girls series, and also one of my favorites.
Here is the beautiful poem:
Remember Me
To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea – remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty – remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity – remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, your memories of the times we loved,
the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never be gone.
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oh Allison this is so touching ..straight to the heart ..and such a beautiful painting too ..millions of hugs across the pond …
Oh goodness… the painting of Margret is truly one of my top 2 favorite women from your series! She is the one I said reminds me of you. There is a haunting kind of beauty in her face.
Thank you for Sharing all of this… remembering with you…
❤️
Yes, I agree with Kirsten, she does look like you! Beautiful post…so many memories.
All I want is chocolate right now too! 😉 I remember how much he loved it and begged for “one more piece” to melt on his tongue. And those tiny sips of water! Oh how much we take for granted when we’re healthy
Love this poem and your painting- so beautiful!
Keep sharing the memories- wish I was there to share some chocolate ice cream with you today.
Love you. Melissa
Allison,
We don’t mind your go over the past years at all. I have felt like it really helps to talk about someone who has gone on before us. We talked about our granddaughter for a long time and we still have pictures of her around and the accident happened in 1997 in Sept. I have bored people to death and finally found out who I can talk to and who I can’t.
Love,
Becky