My beloved daughter is turning eight years old tomorrow. Anytime she has a birthday, I can’t help but count the years back to the night/morning of her birth and when I first met my baby in person. Last night, I was reflecting on this (its only fair as she’s been talking about her birthday every day for two months, at least) and she reminded me that even though I’ve known her longer than anyone else in the world, she’s known me even longer. “I was inside you before you even knew about it,” she said.

I had to agree with her, she was right again.

We also counted back to her fourth birthday, which happened a mere ten days after Vernon’s accident. We just so happened to mark the four year anniversary of that fateful night with ice cream. It’s as if that time was the spine in the book of her life. The years before (that she hardly remembers her dad) and the years after (in which she remembers the drama of his altered-self, his death, grief, and family life without a dad.) 4+4=8.

Maki and I were discussing these numbers on the way to school this week. Since Maki is 16 now, we are kind of at a bookend with him too, her birth creating a spine in his own life. Not that the book is anywhere near ending: he’s just in the longer chapter now. We’re all in the longer chapter now. And long may it continue.

Justine is so funny. For her party, she requested a theme of her favorite animals: axolotl, red panda, sloth, lemur, hamster, and panda. I think there were a few others on her list, but that’s all I was able to print out to make cardboard cut-outs with. We’re so looking forward to the festivities that the living room has been decorated with streamers, tissue paper flowers, and those endangered species since Wednesday. For Justine (and therefore me, as her mother) its the most important day of the year.

This week, I found some old photos of her third birthday…the last year Vernon was still with us. I shared them with her because I doubted she could remember. “What do you think of these photos?” I asked. “Are they sad or is it kind of cool to see them.”

“Both.” she answered.

And THIS is why we take pictures, my friends. 🙂