Some exerpts one of Vernon’s letters, 14th Jan 06. He was coming to the end of his divorce and staying with his parents, taking odd jobs and applying for grad school. I’d be visiting him in England soon.
“I’m worried that when you see me in my present environment, you will feel disappointed: I don’t feel that I am the true me at the moment; I have no home, most of my possessions are scattered or in storage. I want you to know this Alli—I am not totally what I will be, when you visit: I am much much more than this. Hmm I guess if you like me like this, then you would like me even more when I get to be 100% back to living the way I ideally do.”
The context is very different, but what a note, right? I feel like his younger self was giving words to his older post-tbi self. I can look at Vernon, while I’m reading this and feel it’s exactly what he would be telling me now, if he could put it like that.
He then went on to dream about a future where we would support ourselves by being creative. His words spoke even now to some of my own neglected dreams.
“I have decided this is what I want…a home with you and a Saab automatic. Don’t mind how I get it but I hope part of it gets paid for by being creative. If most of it comes from doing something non-creative, then its a fair deal. Having said that, you and I have so much ability and talent that one day we should expect to reach all our income from doing what we are gifted to do. Something tells me you think like this too. And something tells me that you have the ability to manage to do it too: you may just need the right type of supportive partner to give you the right base to rest on to work at your best. Do you think that’s true? Few people are at their strongest when truly independent.”
Few people are at their strongest when truly independent.
“Um…lack of words…errr…What can I write about? We write to each other sooo much!! Ahh maybe I can daydream more. Is it right that in good memories and in daydreams, the sun is always shining? Maybe that’s why I think of you and me living in California? Because when I try to imagine the future, the sun is shining? Maybe that’s why I think of you and me living in California? Because when I try to imagine the future, the sun is shining!! I drive in my automatic car: the sun is shining We walk together: the sun is shining. We walk in our bed in the morning: the sun is shining.”
We didn’t live in California for many years, but since he’s been at Mesa Verde, I have often thought in gratitude that he does live in a perfect climate town and whenever I visit him there, we are able to sit outside and most days of the year, the sun is shining.
Oh…and also a picture from Justine, found in her bring-home bag at the end of the year.