We said goodbye to Vernon’s parents today. Well, I did. Mum told him we were all going to lunch so he wouldn’t be too upset about the fact he might not see them again for a little while. He is still pretty confused about time, so for all I know, the next time he sees them, he might say: “Oh how was your lunch?”
But what a lovely time it was with them here. They stayed close to the care home for most of their stay, but I got to spend some quality time with them on my visits. They also had their grandkids, my parents, and other friends (new and old) to break up their hospital time. As we discussed today, even though the time went by so quickly, they got a good idea of Vernon’s state and recovery process—from that first day when he was taken to the hospital (and his intense illness and confusion) to the gradual build- up to a communicative, humorous person with memories to share. They left on a strong note, after seeing for themselves that even though there are back-and-forth steps, Vernon’s momentum is still forward.
This is one of the unexpected problems that can come up in international-families. It isn’t easy for those who live so far away. The distance complicates things. I like to think of it as a bonus: Vernon is well-loved by people all over the world!
Here they are on a mat next to the bed so that they could be closer to their son.
As I’ve stated, the first week of their visit was much harder. But the second week, Vernon took a turn and became much more alert. His body still doesn’t seem connected to his mind…and I’ll ask for prayers for that, please. I believe the consistent dose (he has just had an increase) of Omega-3 oils is helping with his rapid mental recovery. But his body is still very agitated and even spastic at times. It really seems to depend on the day…or even what time of day (unfortunately, there is nothing consistent about this yet…if you are a visitor/nurse/therapist, you get what you get.)
Still, it is wonderful to be able to engage with him again.
He seems to want to go home most of the time, which makes it difficult to leave him. He often tried to climb out of his bed, especially when people tell him they are leaving for the day. But then, we went through this months ago. In a way, I feel we are picking up where we left off in the Autumn. What’s a lost 6 months in the big scheme of things, right? It’s much easier to say that on this end.
The truth is…as hard as it is to tell him he has to stay there when everyone else is going home, I prefer the sadness and anger he expresses that he can’t go with us to his rolling over and accepting it. The former is the sign of a man who doesn’t belong there. It hurts to leave him, but its GOOD that he knows that it isn’t his long term home.
Don’t forget that, Vernon. You won’t be there forever.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” —A.A. Milne
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Wishing him all our love from everyone in Bournemouth, England. UK.
Childhood friend and neighbour
thankyou James for your comment – please thank your mum for the kind words she sent my parents… as i said it was so wonderful for Vern to talk about you and Andrew with my parents, about our childhood, playing together.. as we all did nearly daily..until we moved home…
Allison,
Glad to hear that Vern is improving. Know there steps ahead and then steps back. We will pray for all of his needs and also for you because you are a part of this whole recovery. Will pray every day for Vern. So glad that his Mom and Dad were with him and could see what could care you were taking of him. Just hang in there and remember that God is watching and caring for Vern. He is right by your side.
Becky
As always, cheering and praying for all.
Goodbyes are so very hard, especially when you live so far away..it is hard to see your son /brother so ill in bed for so long…mum and dad are home and we have talked about how vern is and they have told me all about their trip in more detail (ofcause we spoke daily on skype).
Allison i am so pleased mum and dad have had the chance to be with Vern and experience just a little of your daily lives..although it has been hard for them , they have come home positive and have a much better understanding about Verns condition..i hope Allison it was good for you to be with them and ofcause the children with their grandparents .
xx lots of love to you all xx
ps we all need to now start saving our pennies to come out to visit again- it was this time last year mum and dad were getting ready to come out and spend 3 weeks holiday with you all..looking back now i am so pleased you all had that “precious” time together only weeks before Verns accident….