This is the last week that the family who hit Vernon has to legally respond to our letters ( delivered three weeks ago, at long last). They still haven’t. And though I know I told myself many times I didn’t expect anything (and believed it at the time)…yesterday, I recognized an anger inside. I’ve waited a long time, taking as high a road as I know to take, and being this close to the end of this part of the saga, the feelings are definitely ready for an outlet. I could barely focus on my drawing class last night, distracted by this trapped energy of sorts. I can see how people displace latent anger very easily. It’s hard to forgive when people don’t give you space to. (I thought forgiveness would be easier…I think it IS easier when people admit their error and responsibility.)
Today, however, someone took Vernon’s session at dialysis off my hands. (Thank you Sharon!) And Justine and I spend the day together, just doing things like shopping for clothes she can fit into (she’s growing so fast) and then swimming in a friends pool together. Justine is a little fish this summer, swimming in the deep end as well as the shallow. It’s so fun to enjoy it together without her clinging on like years past. I can feel the wonderful difference the water made to my body and peace of mind. And tonight I feel more able to take the high road for a few more days. H20 therapy is GOOD! I’ve been in the pool more this summer than usual and I’d say its a revelation! Water is one of God’s greatest gifts. Use it if you got it! It’s remarkable how much better I feel after submerging and swimming…and playing with my daughter.
PS I believe in strongly in the power of forgiveness. I want it to be a major theme in my life. I also believe forgiveness is a journey you move toward. It doesn’t always happen overnight, even for people of faith, like myself. For me…I move toward it, but understand it may never be a finished thing. I hope it will be though…that hope keeps me going toward it.