The kids and I went up to see Vernon on this rare rainy day. He wasn’t at his best, which always concerns me when the kids are around. I worry that they will not understand this “two steps forward-one step back” momentum of recovery, but I should’t have been surprised that they handled it in stride. They amaze me.
Justine is so young and open that I haven’t been too concerned about the way she handles this strange season or her dad’s disability. I mentioned something the other day about him not being much of a daddy right now, and she quickly jumped to his defense. “He’s a GREAT daddy—he is just sick in the hospital.” Her truth helped me see a greater truth that I had let myself begin to forget.
Maki, on the other hand, has deeper-running waters. I know he takes everything in, but he processes it quietly, so that I don’t always know what he is thinking. He has been so strong through this season, and he has matured so much, but I know it has been hard on him. Vernon was his BEST PERSON, from the time he was small. They always had a very unique, close bond..they were each other’s favorite person to be near, at every age. Sometimes, Maki and I will talk about how unexpected good things will come out of changes that, at the time, are frightening and horrible, because we have seen many good things come into our lives this season. But it still doesn’t change the fact that he misses his dad and the way things used to be.
As I said, today Vernon wasn’t at his best. He seemed tired and unfocused, not making as much sense as he had been. I can usually tell something is up if he isn’t opening his eyes while he talks. It seems like a real struggle to take in everything going on around him. But the children still treated him like they always do. If anything Maki was trying to engage him more than usual. It was so nice to see the comfort they have found in their current relationship with their dad.
Maki tried to engage Vernon with some easy game-app on his iPad. But Vernon still struggles to see moving screens well and lost interest.
But Justine made up for it with her own interest. I’m so thankful these two have each other right now. Maki has always been great with Justine and she obviously adores him. Our newest family member, Crystal, makes an appearance here too. The stuffed kitty hasn’t left her side since she got her two weeks ago.
It was actually a really lovely afternoon, the rain falling outside the window of Vernon’s room and the family all gathered around, each doing our own thing. Not asking Vernon to engage in conversation, not filling him with more of our own information, just being together in the same space. Here is a window on what that looked like:
If you are on computer, watch in Standard Definition by clicking option at top of video screen.
Also, if you couldn’t see what was on Maki’s screen, it was a Space Sloth. He is obsessed, just so you know.)
91
Allison,
It is good to see the family all together and the children not noticing the difference. 2 steps forward and 1 step back is probably what you can expect at this stage of the game.
Have a good week and we will praying for you and Vernon.
Becky
Such a sweet and tender photo of Maki & Justine 🙂
Just so you know….you and Vernon and the family….and all you are experiencing right now are in my prayers OFTEN…and at least, daily. Precious blogs you are sharing, when it would probably be easier just to sit back and wait….you are a treasure!
Thank you so much Mabel…for your prayers, and for your comment. I wonder if would be easier to sit back and wait. I don’t know…i feel that is what we are doing all the time, when I wish I could be doing more! I am definitely learning about waiting and patience…its not my forte, I’ll tell you that! Much love to you!
Thank you for filming and letting me have a moment with you. Just being together is great. So impressed with Justine’s dance. Not easy music to dance to. I know Maki is playing it for his dad. Vernon has to spend so much of his energy doing “easy” things that we don’t even think about. No wonder he has off days. Wish I could be there. Big hug.
Hi Synnove…I hoped you would see this. I especially enjoy Maki’s teenage reactions in this video…”what are you looking at?” hahah! But you can also see how relaxed he has become around his dad…I know this has been a stretch for him at every level, and I know you will be proud!
Allison and Synnove you must be so proud of Maki , he really has been amazing..a real tooper, seems so undaunted and compassionate with his dad, we are all proud of him, he is growing into a very admirable young man.
thankyou for sharing the video Allison, so lovely to see the “just being a family, on a Sunday”, although so delightful to see, it is also touched by a glint of sadness…..i know i sit reading your posts expecting always to be news of “greatness” and another mile stone crossed .. new words of wisdom , just hearing of steps forward, but ofcause there has to be those steps backwards, days when he feels tired , unwell or just vern himself is feeling sad. i know i am expecting too much of him…
xx love and hugs to you all xx extra big one for vern x
It’s good to see Maki with his dad. I know it isn’t easy alwAys, but I think it’s very important that they spend a little time together every so often. Yes i am very proud. Lots of love. X