childrearing
On the Death of the Beloved

I got a surprise letter through FaceBook this morning which really touched me. I remember this person, as I spoke with her many times. She was one of the ambulance staff that took Vernon to dialysis five times a week over the course of two years.

Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m Jenifer, one of the EMT’s that used to take Vernon to dialysis. I just found out about Vernon’s passing & wanted to reach out to you & tell you that I’m terribly sorry for your loss & your children’s loss. I never got the chance to tell you but you inspire me in so many ways. The way you stayed at Vernon’s side & the love that you have for him is amazing. There were times were I would go to the bathroom & cry after dropping him off because it broke my heart to see how much you love him & how hard seeing him in that state was for you. You are the definition of an amazing wife & a beautiful soul. God bless you & your family, & may he give you the strength to overcome this.

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I was moved by her letter, of course, as these medical assistants filled up all the important ensemble roles of our Play. But then we only tend to stay in touch with the main characters, the people we actually know well, and all the others can fade to the background when the bows are  made. But these background people are the ones that make the world turn, especially in Vernon’s case, as he could do nothing by himself.  Of course I knew they cared in the moment, but its a treat to actually hear that these people remember him fondly. They were such an important part of our lives, the unsung ones.

I sent the letter to my friend Sandy, just to give help give it some wings. She wrote back:

Thank you for sending this to me. It makes me actually weep. I know I have lots of tears stuffed and stuck down. And this releases some. Allison, we all have been watching ( and participating) in an extraordinary love story. And love stories usually have tears. Beautiful words from Jenifer.  And so true.

And Allison.  You sometimes ask, “Where is God?  Is He even there? ” He was there. Inside you. As you were being His hands and feet and love to Vernon. No, He didn’t say ‘Yes’ to miraculously healing Vernon. But He demonstrated His love and power through you. And the children. And the Logies, Ketcham’s, Hendrix’s, Adams’, your parents, Joe.  Others watched and saw the face of God. They saw love in action. His power and love to do what was given to Vernon.

Vernon left the imprints of his fonts behind. And he left he imprint of love.

PS Jenifer’s name was changed. But the rest of the story is real.

 

 

 

 

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childrearing
On the Death of the Beloved