I’d love to say more interesting things about Vernon’s recovery today, but the truth is, the day was filled with ‘life’ things.
I know a lot of us have this idea that life is full of lessons and when the waves of circumstance keep crashing on us, we are supposed to wonder: “what lesson is this teaching me?” Its the self-help attitude that I have been a huge subscriber in…until now.
You know what? Sometimes there ISN’T a lesson. Let’s stop taking it personally. Sometimes its JUST LIFE. Life just keeps coming…it doesn’t stop even if we feel we deserve that it should be gentler.
Maybe what I need to learn from these so called lesson-waves is that life just keeps moving, no matter what. It just keeps coming, wave after wave. I can’t take it personally if I already have a lot on my plate. I should be happy that I can handle it all. (As can we all, even if we don’t like it.) The day to day problems can be empowering, even in their un-welcomed way.
The other day, my beloved external hard drive (holding most of my photos of the past few years) crashed. Ugh. So I had to figure out (without the Tech Genius in the house) how to send that off for a fix. Dreams of memories past: still pending. Yesterday, I had to deal with motorcycle insurance stuff…apparently one office in the company had not communicated to the other side of the building that we had put in a claim. So stupid time was spent on that. Today, I spent my time trying to re-log onto The Covered-CA insurance website (in other words, make a complicated new password.) And then the bank called, saying some glitch in information was going to freeze all of Vernon’s accounts, and therefore, mine, and in order to rectify things, I’d have to go into an office and start all over. Annoying, of course. And I won’t even mention the number of time-outs Justine has been put on in the past week.
These things happen every day. Please don’t think I am making a blog about my humdrum complaints. That is the last thing I want to do. (I do NOT condone complaining on Facebook, even though I probably look like I’m doing it every day.)
My REAL point is: LIFE GOES ON.
These are the same kinds of things that might happen to us any day of the year. Weirdly, there is something grounding about it. Something, annoyingly familiar. And when you have been living in the most extreme season of your life, that is surprisingly normalizing. Its strangely nice to feel annoyed about normal things, to complain about the bank or an insurance mix-up. You know?
The hospital is great, I love the comfort of being near Vernon and the people who are near him. But tomorrow I plan to start working again, and getting back into a more normal routine. Its time for both Vernon and myself to remember we have lives to get back to.
At the same time, I feel more present with Vernon in a practical way today. I was shown I could wash his face and hair. I had brought Justine’s ‘my little pony’ brushes along anyway. So the timing was perfect.
They say every person with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) has a family with TBI at the same time. I guess in my way, my added activity in my own (and my family’s) life is proactive. If as a married couple, Vernon and I are ONE, and we live in these parallel stages of awareness, I hope my moving forward for myself will activate a kind of moving forward for himself.
I will still visit him every day. But I am ready to move forward another step. And I would like to think he is too.
I know so many are praying, but for you that do, would you mind putting it into full-throttle? Its TIME. At least, I feel its time. Lets get a move on here! This Friday marks 8 weeks.
COME ON!!!!!
My friend Christine Adolph sent me this picture last night, taken just days before the accident. Its amazing how prophetic her light leaks were. Vernon’s pelvis is shining with light and also the back of his head, which did receive a wound and a skull-crack as well. I would like to believe there is something divine about this picture, as if it speaks to healing and wonder, though it was taken while Vernon was still living his normal previous life.
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Ali, praying first thing every morning and throughout the day for you and Vernon. Thank you for including us in all of this. Sending you much much love. Katherine
Enjoyed every word you wrote … however, that photo speaks … well, it just speaks … I don’t know what to say. I just “Feel”
this photo …
well, niece, you are profound. i never knew how much til now. yesterday i had to talk to some tax person who was trying very hard not to sound patronizing. i didn’t even understand her questions. we English major/artists types shouldn’t have to, right? thanks for your words that comfort us all. full throttle.
Wow…that photo-with the light on Vernon’s head and pelvis-wow!
That is no mistake.
I hear you and resonate with life’s annoying little issues that feel as if some supernatural finger is poking us over and over just waiting – to laugh at us for loosing it! (Which 9 times out of 10 I do!) But now I think of Vernon and stop when I loose it. I think of the big picture. The battle Vernon is fighting. I can turn away from that finger…
I love you Vernon and Allison. I trust God is involved with every detail.
“LIFE”…… it goes on….Always reminding myself that my mountain top experiences are just that…. Life is NOT lived continually on the mountain top…….Love and Blessings on you….. PRAYING FULL THROTTLE………Your Transparency, and honesty – refreshing…in the midst of LIFE!!! I Thank God for you……. Faith – Hope – Love….The GREATEST of these is LOVE…..
Until you have lived “the hospital life”, you cannot understand how there can be two parallel lives going on. You are completely separated from the “real world” while you are with your loved one who is fighting for their life. Life continues to go on outside of your world, and it has to be dealt with – whether you want to deal with it or not! God has His perfect plan, and He is watching over Vernon, you, Justine, Maki and the whole family. His grace is sufficient. We will put prayers into full throttle knowing in Whom we trust. He will give you strength, healing, perseverance, favor, grace, and endurance for the days ahead. May He bless you abundantly above and beyond what you could ask or think. Thank you for sharing your heart with us on this journey. You have inspired people more than you know.
Thank you for sharing so beautifully from your heart. You are not a complainer on Facebook; more of a processor. Prayers continue.
COME ON VERN!! it is time now …lets get moving …. i need to book my ticket over to be with you.
life is going on Allison, i look around me, Lewis going to school, Paul work and Aaron talking to friends on his kindle,out and about ..but the hustle and bustle is going on around me, part of me is standing still, is wondering how can the world still be turning, people living their normal lives ..laughing , joking ….??? because my little brother isn`t laughing , joking , doing every day things ..was having problems with some images on my computer yesterday evening(no one could help)..Paul said ” you know who would be able to help??” we both looked at each other, just knowing ..yep we miss him.
COME ON VERN….we all need you xx
ps that photo is amazing.. we have talked about experiences before that day nearly eight weeks ago ..this is another one!! praying hard xx love you all xx
Yes, it’s time. The holiday is over, right, Vanessa?
yep they are … vern needs a whisper in the ear (a very loud one)..time to get up now, work to be done ..holiday is over !! love you !
Maki also sais Things felt special that day. He felt he had to say “I love” you to his dad. A lot of times, and he did. He sais it could be because Vernon bought him the spiderman game. (I think if he didnt feel anything special he would say thank you a lot of times).
Great wisdom Allison! Life can be hard and it’s not personal…. it’s not all about us. Using Corrie Tenboom’s example, sometimes it’s just our thread in the tapestry of life. Having just spent a year recovering from major back surgery I understand hitting the wall ITS TIME. ( I just resolved the final issue with the hospital billing!) A year sounds doable the day before surgery but 3 months later ….the wall. God will bring you through those walls and the sometimes overwhelming crush of circumstances that surround them. God has more faith in what we can endure than we do… Not my favorite revelation. 😛 I’d prefer a break. Life does go on. My heart goes out to you. I pray you don’t get discouraged by the slow pace of recovery.
My Bible study and I pray regularly. Going full throttle.
Let’s go, V! Heal! 🙂
And I can imagine the strange comfort of the normal routine.
Hugs from the East coast, my dear. BIG hugs. I really wish I were closer and could visit. You and Yours are never far from my thoughts.
As Linda said life is hard at times and if you have read Corrie Ten Boom you know how she fought for everything she had in a camp that killed her sister and possibley her parents.
You write very well and it is time for Vernon to come back to you and make his self known. But it could be that God has a different plan for you and Vernon. Just stay close by and I think you will see what the picture shows–see God knew that accident was going to happen but thank the Lord we are not prepared for what is about to happen if so we would never leave home.
Our prayers and love are coming your way.
Love,
Becky Jones
Allison, you write beautifully and I’m sure that your words touch many in ways you will never know. I especially loved this posting. I’ve read all of them.
Signed from the lady you painted a Castle with fairys in her Grandaughters bedroom.
Life … it is the little things that make of life. In my less traumatic experiences in life, God has constantly reminded me and chided me at times … for my lack of faithfulness in the little things. My obedience is my declaration to His reality and truth. We have been given a moment, a day in which to be faithful and steward well. The rest is His doing – the future that only He knows and in which He leads. I will pray that Life (as you so very well have described) will be a declaration of your faithfulness in the “little” yet essential and foundational things just as you have shared. That is where tenacity is put to the test. May the strength necessary be found in Him. May the promise of His faithful compassion sustain you.
the photo is amazing – so much can be ‘read’ into it today that may have just been viewed as a ‘mistake’ two months ago. all the adams/moore family remain in my daily prayers…
p.s. the very best to you dealing with the multitude of ‘day-to-days’ that also fill your plate now! remember to stop and take a deep breath!
Hi Allison, Each and every post has been special to read. Today you showed us a small glimpse into what you have been going through. I actually like knowing how I can pray for YOU as well as Vernon. I cannot imagine the stress you and your family have been through these last 8 weeks. I pray knowing that the little girl I saw grow into a wonderful Christian woman has a strong faith that the Lord is right next to her in the hospital and the (stupid) bank. ALL of us are praying without ceasing so know we have your back! No post from the heart is stupid or mundane. We love you AND your posts!! XOXO
Full-Throttle Prayer coming from the Central Coast!
Allison, a beautiful and courageous post. Yes, life goes on. And you must move forward, as I am certain Vernon would want nothing less for you. One day at a time…progress is often slow. Take some joy in the day-to-day annoyances as reminders that, indeed, life does go on. He’s in good hands and I trust that your love for him is present in his heart…keep going, sweet lady. I love you dearly.
Allison—Jer and I are praying daily! Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us that love you and your family. You are one of my hero’s and an awesome sister in the Lord! Standing with you to the end–yes! With much love, Kat