I haven’t known what to write lately. I am encouraged by all the latest improvements, but honestly, they only leave me wanting MORE.
Just as it has been all along, one breakthrough does not mean the next day will be full of more breakthroughs. He gets worn out easily still.
I keep the hope, because it keeps us going. And it does pay off. But truthfully, today…. my heart is weary, and we are nowhere near close to the finish line…in fact, I have no idea what mile we are on. There is no map…apparently, we are writing the map as we make the journey.
I miss him. The children do too. We are holding up, and we know he is getting better, but we miss him being with us. I’m feeling sad. I can’t dwell in that feeling long but lately its been growing. Its not like the times we have been apart before where we can at least send emails and phone-calls. This is a long time apart. I am speaking for the children here too, but we all feel it. We distract ourselves and we do our daily lives, and there has been a lot to fulfill us. Still, it is there.
It will get better. We have not lost him. We know it could be worse. He will come home. But we are sad. We still miss our daddy/Vernon.
I look forward to school starting. Having a more normal routine. I look forward to Vernon moving to a rehab facility and getting the use of his body and speech back. I look forward to Maki and Justine being together, for Maki and his dad to share some time. I look forward to getting on with our autumn lives.
It’s been a long summer.