This is a Polaroid from the night of our wedding. Since I moved to the UK two days afterward, I didn’t bother to change my last name. I needed my current passport, for one thing, and there were so many official immigration documents that I was constantly having to update over the next several years, it just seemed to complicated to throw a name change into the mix. Besides, Vernon always said he liked me name as it was. “Allison Moore is the name of the girl I fell in love with,” he would say.
A couple of years ago, now Stateside again, I bought a kit online that was supposed to help me fill out the paperwork. I brought it up to Vernon and he still didn’t seem to care one way or the other. “Do it if you want to,” he would say. “But don’t want to influence your decision.” Gee, thanks. I didn’t do it.
But this year, especially, I kept thinking of it. Most of the staff calls me Mrs. Adams, for one thing. I also have a passport and a drivers license both up for renewal. If I’m going to do it, this would be a good time. Over the past months, I’ve brought the idea up to Vernon again. He’s changed his tune and now says I should go through with it. When I’d ask him why, he always says, “It just sounds better” —before shrugging it off—”…but it doesn’t matter to me.”
To tell the truth, I’ve been leaning toward changing my name for months, but couldn’t bring myself to actually fill out the paperwork. What was holding me back? I realized it was the fear of Vernon dying and leaving me alone with his surname. It wasn’t quite irrational, but it became a real block for me.
As I gave this fear words, I began to realize this is exactly WHY I should change my name. If I’m going to do it, I better do it while I still have the chance. Compared to dealing with medical issues, the bother of paperwork and bank account changes is a cakewalk. And also, I like the idea of having the same last name as Maki and Justine, no matter what happens in the future.
Do other women make such a big deal about this? I’ve had the same name for 43 years, and I’m used to it. I was married for nearly 9 years with it. What finally flipped my switch was the very recent realization that my passport actually ran out last year so I’d better get on top of getting another asap. This afternoon, on a near-whim, I put Justine in the car and drove up to the Social Security office with the necessary documents.
After showing them to the lady at the window and confirming a few details, she asked for my current Social Security card and ripped it up, right there. I was rather shocked. Was it that simple? She told me my new card would arrive in 7-10 business days.
Tomorrow I go to get my new drivers license. I’m not sure how official I am without any documents in my hand, but I was assured my name had been changed in the computer system.
So I guess…. I’m now Allison Adams.
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It was a shock to me to lose my maiden name of Moore since, I,too had had it longer than most. Congratulations, Mrs. Adams. You’re charming as always. Love, Mrs. (Moore) Donaldson
I’ll just try getting used to the idea for now. When the cards come in the mail, I’ll certainly try to be more committed. I know it takes me most of January to start writing the correct year. Donaldson certainly suits you now!
I’m happy for you, that Maki, you and Justine will all have the same name as Daddy.
I had a parallel experience, giving Elijah-Marc’s name, when he was born. Never knowing if Marc and I would marry, I knew Elijah needed his dads name…
When Marc and I went for our marriage licence 2yrs later and I became…A Ford…it seemed to complete the circle.
I felt a new sense of “belonging”
I’m praying, on some level, there is a new found comfort for you!
Even if it take a while, one day, when you see your new name, next to your childs name…
I bet, there will be some little spark 🙂
I love you, The Adams Family!
hi MRS ADAMS ..I`m so pleased you have the family name..that is so very special..very special..there are only two MRS ADAMS ..my mum and you..and two MR ADAMS ..my dad and Vern….(as dad has two sisters) so strange to change your name ..i know when i went from MISS ADAMS ..to MRS CORBIN.. took awhile… Lewis`s fave teacher ..who he helps at lunchtime to look after the younger children ..is a Mrs Adams ..but was Miss Corbin….
big hugs to you..let us know what Vern says …look at your wedding photo?? what a handsome couple !! xx
And you’re a BEAUTIFUL bride! Love the Polaroid 🙂
I love this post!!
As usual, the ladies have already said most of what needs to be said here. Just wanted to add another affirmation from the Y-chromosome camp. Your decision sounds like wisdom to me, Mrs. Adams. Another positive aspect of this is that you moved *toward* your fear rather than avoiding it, thereby giving everyone in your world still another good example of what it means to live as a believer. As for the Polaroid, what a 500 watt smile!
Nicely said Mrs. Adams, Once Again Well Done!!XXOO
Allison,
My youngest son when he married his wife didn’t take his name. We were a little hurt by that. So happy that you made up your mind to do the wise thing because it will make the children feel closer to each other and to you and Vern. Happy for you. The pix is beautiful.
Becky
It makes me smile to remember your banter with Vernon about this decision. With Vernon secure in your love, it had to be what you wanted. With all that held you back in making the decision the past few months, it is quite significant that you pressed in and made it official. Whether you did this before or after the accident, I feel his reaction will be the same. “It’s about time…” 😉
I hope you have a wonderful day Mrs. Allison Adams, wife of Vernon Adams, and mother of Maki and Justine Adams, daughter of Hyatt and Anne Moore.
I can just imagine your artistic signing of your “new” name. 🙂
Please message or call me if you would like me to come on dialysis day to be with Vernon on a Tuesday or Wednesday.
That would be fantastic, Donna. Wednesdays are opening up. Perhaps you can bring your harp again when you are able too!
An Allison by any name will be as sweet! Congrats on becoming Allison Adams! You are now ‘alphabetically superior’ as I like to say. (My maiden name was at the top of the alphabet, then I plummeted to the bottom when I married. Gotta say that being first on the list is fun! Enjoy it!)
We my sister-in-law married my brother she went from Carole Moore to Carole Colby and when I married Steve, I went from Karen Colby to Karen Moore (the 2 Moores weren’t related that we know of). We have often laughed at the exchange. I had a bit of trouble being called Mrs. Moore. That was always grandma. I was however very excited about being called Steve’s wife. Congratulations Mrs. Allison Adams. We love you and pray for you daily.
You are Allison Adams a new name for a new life. I can closely relate to this, I never changed my name right after we got married and went years by Booker and Touchstone never commuting for other reasons mostly not knowing what tomorrow would bring. It became important to the kids I had the same name as them. And 4 years after jake died I finally got my license with my name in it an amazing moment j hope it the dames for you and this name change brings you piece and security the way it did me I love your new name !
Sounds good to me 🙂 Beautiful bride & handsome groom! <3
Allison Adams has a beautiful ring to it! Especially when said along with Vernon, Maki and Justine Adams. Love it! And yes, I’m old fashioned. ( : Hugs and prayers from WY.
hi allison adams!