I admit I am a little discouraged today as the progress is still so slow, the storming continues, and there are rumors that it will soon be time to move Vernon to a long term care facility that can accept patients still on ventilators. (His progress on oxygen alone has taken another step back and he is fully on the vent again.) I understand that it is its for his own good that he would move elsewhere, where his intensive care can continue and where they can also provide more physical therapy. But there are no sub-acute care facilities near our home, and driving an extra two hours a day for an indefinite period of time does not appeal to me. I have gotten comfortable where we are. Maybe this is a bit of Stockholm Syndrome in that I’ve fallen in love with my captors and don’t want to leave. Big sigh.
Every change comes like this to me, though…I have to accept it, but I still like to fight a little first! I realize how selfish this probably sounds to the reader. Ultimately it is not about me…its about Vernon. He is the one who has been fighting for his life, not me. And he will be put where he must go in order to heal back into the man we love. Every step of the path has been like this so far. At every new turn, we find we can handle more than we thought we could. And always there is some new beautiful relationship, discovery, miracle to be found. I expect this will be true for Vernon, as he continues to awaken into his hugely-changed circumstances.
The writer Ann Voskamp says, “Thanksgiving proceeds the miracle.” Wise woman. So instead of fretting about this anymore, I will focus on some of the gifts I’m grateful for today..
So many friends have surprised us with wonderful gestures. Our rent has been paid for two months straight by people I don’t even know. And I know many generous donations have been made even on this site. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone. I don’t know where we would be without you.
But even in Vernon’s hospital room, small gifts keep appearing.
This morning I found a couple of posters stuck on the wall…the first made with one of Vernon’s more popular fonts, Pacifico.
Thanks, Eric. It is a GOOD DAY.
I also discovered the most wonderful quilted square (was that yours, Lindsay?) taped among Justine’s latest offerings. (Justine wrote her name for the first time the other day, by the way! I’m sneaking some parent-boasting in here too. Well, not so sneakily.)
The most amazing mosaic by Kristy Lizzotte. She takes orders, by the way. AMAZING. And Vernon will be so touched when he discovers this was a gift, as he had wanted one of these before the accident.
Pure heart written in gold on a soccer ball from his Saturday League.
Two letters from Jenni Ahonen’s super-original “Alphabet For Healing” made for Vernon and sent all the way from Finland. Jenni was an classmate of Vernon’s in their Masters Program of Typography.
And last but not least, a personal concert today from the wonderful Gary Rea. I noticed the nurses didn’t close the sliding doors completely…I think they got a lot of out this gift too. Afterwards, his nurse said she hadn’t seen Vernon as relaxed all day as he was after the music.
‘Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.’ Mother Theresa