Side note to our subscribers: we have had some internet problems at the house for the last few days, and so it seems my last post from a remote location (Panera Bread: Free Internet for ALL!) may not have been sent to our faithful blog subscriber’s emails. If you missed the last post, you might want to reload it here, because I feel the blog story there is already a turning point into the next season of Vernon’s recovery.
Big Breath!
We must have some fresh prayers for us, because I could feel the renewed energy around me today. I had a meeting with some of the staff, including a new social worker that I only met today. It’s so strange to me that they don’t know Vernon the way I do..or even the way people at the past two facilities came to know him. Its a total fresh start. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day, reliving each day but with increased awareness, and hopefully, wisdom.
Because of our past experience, I came into today’s meeting with more authority than I had the last ‘get-to-know-you’ meeting. I didn’t need an advocate by my side. After the general introductions, I basically said:
“I know my husband will get back to what he was a month ago, which is not where he should be at this stage in the game. I think he should be at least 3 months further along. I feel betrayed by previous care, but that has taught me a few things. I now know I have to stay on top of things even more than I have. I am fantastically happy to be in this new care center. I have seen nothing but positive things here so far. Everyone has been great. BUT…
We can’t afford to lose any more time. If an infection gets septic like this last round, it will be fatal. Please help me keep on top of the signs. This place is is his chance…help me collaborate with you. What can I do to help you help him? ”
I hope that didn’t scare them.
The wonderful thing is…
They said they LIKED family involvement. They said these are the cases they prefer. We will see. But I do feel good. In fact, even before the meeting, I had a spring in my step. I knew there would be a connection.
I believe the prayers are carrying us through. Thank you again. Love is compelling me forward. And I think in this place, it is moving the staff forward too.
Also…Vernon open his eyes in the middle of his PT session today and point directly at me, saying very clearly. “That’s my WIFE!” He may not be able to say my name yet, but I’m so glad he knows who I am. Things are looking up, proven by HIS opening his eyes and looking up. He expressed that it is hard to concentrate, but the fact that he is opening his eyes more often again, even in small increments, is good news.
I look at the blossoming tree at the front of Vernon’s new home as a symbol. They may have to start fresh with him, no knowlege of his past improvements. But sometimes a blank slate is a good thing.
Hello, Springtime!
“See the winter is past: the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling: my beautiful one, come with me.” —Song of Solomon.
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Allison,
Bless you and Vernon as well. Just stick by him and I believe that if it is in God’s will for Vern to raise his two children he will be able to do so. I had a stroke when I was 31 years old. Nobody expected this but it happened and now I am doing very well. At that time I had a 2 year old son and he will turn 45 in October so just hold on Allison. That means hold on to God’s Hand and He will be with you all thru this.
Love,
Becky
I see your replies all the time, Becky…thank you for all your support. I never knew this about you. What an encouraging thought. I have met others in the care homes who had strokes at an early age. But that is particularly early. Wow. How encouraging. I would love it if Vernon could be a father to his kids while he is still relatively young. God is seeing me through, that is for sure. All four of us, indeed. xo
Way to go Allison! You are doing a great job being Vernon’s advocate and that is what it takes. No one knows him better than you do-trust your instincts. I would encourage you to once again decorate his room with pictures of him before the accident so that the staff can better connect, as well as to jog Vernon’s memory.
So loved the pictures of the beautiful blossoms and that you are encouraged! It is snowing here and forecast to be below zero the next couple of nights. Hugs, from WY!
Way to go, baby. It takes balls to be such a great advocate as you’re being. It’s not for the timid. I’m sending you SUCH big love today <3
Cheering you on again! So glad you feel positive, so do I. Just be as firm as you like, people know you are a lovely person, one of the loveliest people I know. Big hug
I’m feeling a mixture of anger and frustration on your behalf at the revelation there were issues with Vernon’s previous care, and relief and admiration that you’ve pushed to get him into a better situation. You did the right thing!
I’m also glad to hear that this team of medicos recognize what an asset you are to them and to Vernon’s recovery…you handled that meeting so well. Way to go!!