We managed to get through last night and all of today. I hear changes in his breathing, and they are ordering patches that will help with the wetness in his chest and throat. He seemed much more regulated as far as medication goes, and he hasn’t been noticeably awake since yesterday. Still, I think he hears. His toe still taps from time to time and his eyebrows raise when he hears certain names or even my voice when I enter the room. And then we medicate him again as soon as he starts to move too much. I feel much better today, even though I was tired from lack of sleep, merely because I knew he was feeling much better. It’s been a weird symbiotic relationship that got more intense over the past two years, but it’s nice that we are still seeing signs of that to the very end. It feels right, though not always comfortable.
My mother being wonderful, as usual.
Here’s Ramona, his beloved CNA, watching the video of Vernon giving his speech on free Type. She loves him and will miss him. She keeps saying how handsome he is now. Before she left her shift this afternoon, I heard her ask him to wait till tomorrow morning.
Justine came up for a bit in the afternoon. I missed her so much so we planned a getaway at the hotel pool. But first she had some time with her dad. I wasn’t sure how well it would go as he was much less lively than when she saw him last week. She asked why he looked so young. I told her (much like before) that he was going in and out of heaven and therefore he was becoming more beautiful.
I also suggested she think of a sign, a symbol that her father would be watching over her. It didn’t take her long to think of something. “A butterfly landing on me.”
I think he heard her. They say hearing is the last thing to go.
Tonight, I am back in a hotel. The nurse has promised to call if there are any major changes. He looks and sounds much more ready to go than he did even this morning. But this is a slow transition. I trust that I’ll be where I need to be in the morning. And that he is where he needs to be too.