Today, I have many things on my mind, many things I cannot write about here. But I want to update on Vernon’s progress. He did move his thumb more today than he has for days. I know that sounds like a small thing, but they say that the thumb moving is a sure sign of cognitive connection happening. So Thumbs Up, Vernon!
The case worker is looking into new places where Vernon can be transferred to for more extensive care (like Physical Therapy along with the treatment he is already getting) I am hoping against hope it won’t be very far away. In some ways, his options have opened up as he has been off the ventilator for almost a week. Way to go, Vernon. Of course this has tired him out as he has had to work harder, but it is also showing that he is getting stronger. As they say in our ward, the more that comes OFF him, the better. They are ready to move him out soon, as they know he is at the next level of healing.
A friend of mine, Laura Glynn, left a little vial of sea glass on a string in Vernon’s room one evening. You can see it here, hung on Vernon’s “Wall Of Love.” I’ll copy the words of her attached note so you can read the meaning behind it.
This is sea glass. I call it my “treasure from the sea.” This glass was once a bottle, a jar, an art piece, a mirror, or a toy. These tossed away items are now crushed, broken, resembling nothing like they originally were. Finding their way to the beach, these pieces, now sharp fragments, are pushed by the tides, crushed by the waves, ground by the friction of one another. Through time, this crushing and grinding smoothes and makes these once-shards a thing of beauty, a treasure of the sea. Reds and blues are rare, but rarer still are these tiny ones–hard to find, yet once found, so meaningful, knowing that thy survived this crushing. They are the rare treasures. Just like us, my friend, yielding the pummeling of the storms and waves of life, yielding and becoming a thing of beauty.
I believe that Vernon’s life has already become a thing of beauty, but every day his is transformed a little more into a rare and miraculous story. His accident has even brought healing in others, though he isn’t even aware of it yet. Or maybe he is? I know he will only continue to move toward wholeness and strength…and beauty.
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Beautiful… Thumbs up Vernon!
I’m praying for more healing-and the best facility for his recovery (and the closest.) Praying for your peace Allison-one day at a time…I love you two-K
THIS IS A DEVOTIONAL I WROTE AFTER MY SURGERY IN FEBRUARY. WHEN I READ ABOUT THE SEA GLASS AND THE WONDERFUL EXPLANATION, I THOUGHT TO ADD MY TWO CENTS TO THAT. HERE IT IS. (from Allison’s uncle, “Papa Steve”)
“And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; each one of the gates was a single pearl.” (Revelation 21:21)
Make Me a Pearl, Lord!
A Bible teacher of former times, Dr. Edward T. Sullivan, drew a fascinating lesson from the simple phrase, “Every gate a pearl.” “Every entrance into the heavenly life,” he said, “is through a pearl. What is a pearl? How is it formed? A wound occurs in a shell where some foreign object – a grain of sand, perhaps – becomes embedded. All the resources of repair and restoration are rushed to the place of trouble. When the breach has been closed and the process of repair is complete, a pearl is found, closing the wound. The breach called forth unsuspected resources causing a thing of beauty to appear that would not have been produced any other way. A pearl is a healed wound. No wound, no pearl!” In our lives misfortune can be transformed into blessing. Hurts can be changed into pearls of precious value. Every trouble, every failure, every pain, every loss, may be transfigured. The most precious pearls can come from the most pernicious perils! Well, that’s all food for thought, of course, but today, for me, ideas are quickly turning into reality. This morning I was diagnosed with cancer. A tumor was discovered clinging and growing inside my body. My “grain of sand” is a medusa mass, a toxic and unwelcome foreign object that has mysteriously appeared to do its dastardly deed. Unlike a pearl in a shell, it doesn’t look like there will be any internal “resources of repair” rushing to the site to “close the breach,” so the healing agents will need to be introduced from the outside. My doctor outlined a course of action to bring about my healing. I am thankful for our wonderful modern medical advances, but I know they are no more than instruments in the hand of the Great Physician which He can use, if He so chooses, to transform a parasitic tumor into a precious pearl. I don’t mean to make this sound so beautiful and poetic, for we’re talking about an anticipated ordeal involving great discomfort and stinging pain. It seems the process of making a smooth pearl is never smooth! An old saying goes, “Whether life grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on what he is made of.” That’s a scary thought, for right now I feel that what I’m made of is pretty flimsy stuff. I’m feeling like just a shell of a man. But then again, what is the shell supposed to do, in the process of pearl production? Just hold still, maybe, and hold steady, while the “resources of repair and restoration” go into action, under the skillful hand and sharp eye of the Divine Surgeon. So Steve, hold still – be still…and let God make His pearl!
a very special treasure xx
oh yes, thumbs up. and yes, one day at a time. continued hugs and prayers…
Allison, I do not like to share out of my own frustration or pain…. I hate it, but when that’s the right thing to do, well you do it because it helps another person, so here it goes. I miss my Mom, she’s not here – I miss my Father, he’s not here… as far as family goes I have one, but it doesn’t count for a lot other then occasional very brief affection and sentimental feelings, that’s it. I love them, they love me, we see each other extremely occasionally. Support… I got friends (some have incredible value – some aren’t worth a penny, I am and will be more a friend to them then they will ever be to me, but that’s how it is…) I am an artist and a musician and just myself – for better or worse – I have had over, I dunno… 25 different kinds of occupation… from Boogie-Board Renter, Pizza Dough Maker, Dishwasher, Bowling Ball Finger Hole Driller (True Story), Warehouseman, Courtesy Clerk, Framing Carpenter, Roofer, Dean’s Secretary, Mailroom Clerk, Fast-Food Chef, Pizza Delivery Person, A Published Journalist with a Weekly Column, Bank Teller, Art Director… I have moved over 40-50 times? One time as a kid our house flooded in Sonoma County and we moved 9 times in one year, I have been homeless 4 times, I’m right on the razor’s edge of number 5. In High School I won nearly every award a high school artist in Orange County can win, including Orange County Cartoonist of the Year 1987 by the Orange County Register. My Mom did 8 films and over 200 TV shows, sung on the Tonight Show, starred with John Wayne, Steve Mc Queen, the 3 Stooges, Tony Curtis (twice), Dean Martin (twice) and blah, blah, blah, my Father was the CEO of his own airline and we lived in a multi million dollar home on the Newport Channel, five years later my Mom and I were in a crap apartment in Santa Ana…. Where am I going with telling you all of that…. it’s been up and down, up and down…. down and up…. and on and on and on, honestly writing all that out has taxed my brain… and I skimmed over it…. my point in this, is now you know me a little better and you do know me… I consider you my friend…. it’s tough, seeing Vernon, but not seeing Vernon the way you/me/we/us want to and that strains us. I have that with myself, to be transparent with you – I don’t use my walker, but there are days I want to, I’m struggling…. what I am saying to you is that inside all this emotion and strain and ups and downs and ugggghhh… there is a beautiful current flowing – one that appreciates what we have had, what we have and carries us through – something is straining you, but something is making your heart bigger and sadder, but more wonderful at the same time… disappointment seems inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be. THESE ARE NOT IDLE WORDS…. if they didn’t hold weight I would have quit…. I ain’t quitting and it’s not because I’m stubborn (well that’s a part of it), but it’s because I’m alive… you’re alive…. all of us are living… we’re alive – the story is being written as we go. WOW! Don’t close our eyes to the world because it is tiring or scary or makes us cry (I cried when I saw Vernon BTW because i don’t like to see him that way… I like him, you made a top-notch choice) open them because LIFE IS AWESOME! IT’S AWESOME! Today’s scars and bruises or thumb movements or weird drunken-sailor walking (in my case) tomorrow may transform into flowers and joy and smiles and amazing stories that heal and help ourselves and others….. or it may not, but if that may be the case (I don’t believe that it is the case for one second…) YOU…. YOU!!!…. Allison Moore Adams….. will have known love and known it well and sadly there are many in this world who don’t even have a teaspoon of it to show for their time on this planet and you HAVE!!! That makes me smile for you! and for me… and for the rest of us…. LIVE… “Each day has enough worries of it’s own” (or just do things one day at a time).. Jesus said that… I like Him… He gets you, that’s comforting that someone else get us… someone amazing, understands and cares for someone like you and me and we and us… 🙂 Allison, I’m still here every day… I haven’t quit…. I keep walking like you… keep going, one foot at a time…. If I don’t quit, you don’t get to…. it’ll be okay…. Isaiah 61 – 3 To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.
Don’t stop….
Muah…. Kiss and a hug, your brother, Luke
So glad to hear about the thumb movement, we’ll take it! Sending much love to you Ali, as we are all truly being transformed in this storm.
Allison, you have really become an accomplished writer. I feel your varied emotions that are so eloquently expressed by your words or what is “between the lines.” The responses to your entries are so impressive and enlightening and I feel a little strange saying that I “enjoy” reading them. I have been following the progress of my nephew, Riley, for a year and a half who was also in a horrible car accident and has a traumatic brain injury. I had a long conversation with Riley’s dad, my only surviving brother, today and there has been lots of emotional and financial “wear and tear” on the whole extended family in the last 18 months. One of Riley’s doctors told them that “when someone has a traumatic brain injury, the whole family has a TBI.” It sounds like Vernon’s injuries are more traumatic in the rest of the body than in his brain, but the results of recovering from a drug induced coma can seem like a TBI. Any way, I am sure you are prepared to do whatever it takes for as LONG as it takes to see Vernon fully recovered. We all must live ONE DAY AT A TIME. Please, try to take a little time for yourself to keep up your own physical and mental health. God knows how difficult it is these days to be a wife and mother without having to deal with a life changing event like this. I’m still praying for all of you daily. Love & hugs, Louise
Hi Alison,
It is good news that he is getting better slowly. Are they sending him to LTAC/ kindred ? Right . We will be praying for amazing fast recovery. Nothing is to difficult for God.
Sending love & prayers……and rejoicing with you in all these day to day changes toward Vernon’s healing. Praying for you for wisdom in dealing with the many things you are facing & decisions that need to be made……So thrilled to always read how wonderful the staff has been there for you, and now with the finding of the next facility for this next phase of recovery! Much love
” It is God who girds me about with strength and makes my way secure. He makes me sure-footed like a deer and lets me stand firm on the heights. He trains my hands for battle and my arms for bending a bow of bronze. You have given me your shield of victory; your right hand also sustained me; your loving care makes me great. You lengthen my stride beneath me, and my ankles do not give way.” ( PS 18:33-37)
May God lengthen your stride in this marathon of life. May he guide each decision, gird you with strength, and sustain you moment by moment.