Vernon’s water obsession has returned. This isn’t brand new, its been building for awhile. I did call the doctor about it today though, so hopefully there will be some sort of solution, even if it’s short-term. When I offered him the usual piece of chocolate to cover up the taste of his medicinal oil, he still insisted he preferred water. Nothing brand new here, either. Since we were at Mesa Verde, instead of dialysis, I was able to fetch him a cup of ice chips, something they seem to approve of. If I’ve not mentioned it yet, his speech therapy was discontinued about two weeks ago as he wasn’t able to be revived fully in time for pre-dialysis sessions, nor was he retaining enough of the activity memory to make the sessions worthwhile. (His therapy benefits/hours are limited, so it seemed best not to squander them—in the words of the therapist.)
He has now decided that he must not be given water because he is ‘in prison.’ This is slightly more dramatic than the ‘school for naughties’ that just the other day he was convinced he’d been put in. He does try to make sense of things, and surely at times this is what he feels like. But he still shows his survival smarts. He took the cup of ice chips and stirred it with the green watercolor stick he’d been given to make artwork until the ice had slightly melted. He was making water! Who care’s if its green, right?
Of course he choked badly even on that little drop. Days like these, he’s so agitated and angry that he can’t be guided, and giving him a little ice is just as dangerous as a full cup of water. It’s heartbreaking, but that little freedom, that little rebellion, seems to provide more comfort to him than my visiting presence does.
Vernon did agree to do a little artwork, regardless. I’d brought him a new medium, watercolor sticks (a glorified colored pencil.) He took to them pretty well, once he got himself in the mood. Here is a peek (complete with coughing and other background banter.)
The following was even more interesting as Vernon started with a fish in it’s environment and then added ‘our home.’ My therapist will have a lot to say on this one, I’m sure. (She’s suggested I ask Vernon to draw a house…so now I’m extra fascinated.) It looks more like a shark to me, but what do I know what was going through his head. That’s art for you!
Today’s post doesn’t feel very fresh, this is all so much what we’ve seen before. I suppose that is the nature of this kind of condition…it goes on and on in ever decreasing/increasing cycles. That’s why I like involving artwork. At least the output will be new.
He made one new (to me) statement that I thought was worth sharing. When it was time to leave, and I had to put Vernon back to bed (if only temporarily) I told him he could just take a little rest, he said: “It’s not resting. It’s being left alone. And that’s against the law.”
Well, its not illegal. But I get his point.
Hopefully the doctor and nurses will help him get on top of his thirst. Like with everything, its little steps. Little shuffling steps.
50
From the youngest grandchild to the oldest –
I really hope you write a book one day. I’m sure I’m not the first person who has said this, just like I’m sure I won’t be the last. I try to read your blog as often as possible. As much as it saddens me, it gives me an invaluable sense of perspective. College is a bubble. (even SLO is a bubble haha) It’s easy to forget life beyond midterms, coffee, and 20-year-old aspirations. You may be in a cyclical routine, with repeated efforts, with ups and downs so often they approach a predictable nature. But I still find a fresh outlook in each entry, and for that I thank you.
Love, Mary
Hi little cousin! I’m so happy to get your note. I never really know who reads these things unless they tell me. So I feel touched that you care enough to them. Thank you! College is an awesome bubble, though…I hope you are enjoying it and working more on your art too. I think that’s one of the thing’s I’m learning most: that artists have a capacity to deal with life in really great ways, maybe even important ways. You don’t know it till you have to deal with really hard stuff though. So keep your tool box fresh, talented girl. It will all be there for you no matter what!
“Fish out of water” comes to mind?
Something my British father would quip. He was desperate for water often too- t was hellish- and we too went for ice chips. I guess its the fact that they are more monitored n theory. But it never mattered, it still melts to water which was grace. albeit … hellish grace. “sigh”
I love this entry Al- and Especially love his – what I see as a leaf of sorts.
Loving you all. <3xo
a Leaf! Yes! I saw a feather! He didn’t say it was either…just an abstract, I guess? I love that it translates different ways. Interesting about the ice chips and your dad. What was that, I wonder? His condition? Did you ever find out?
I thought it was kind of gorgeous the way Vernon is painting a fish in the same week that you Allison are painting an underwater amnesia diver!! Maybe you are both on the same thought/ under water waves…..
Take care and be strong, you are all extraordinary,
love Merranxx
i was thinking the exact same thing, Merran! Can you leave him a message on his facebook page? We don’t always get to it, but when he’s in a good mood, he enjoys the ‘hiyas.’
Allison,
You do so well with Vernon and you are just marching on and you are respected for it. How much weight has he lost? He looks skinny.
A cousin of our family passed away last night at 59 maybe from a heart attack. He was the son of Phil and Dorothy Klock and got married the same day as Betty and Hy Moore.
Becky
Oh, that is so sad to hear about, the death in the family. Peace be with you all. Vernon has been that skinny for a long time…I just don’t often photograph his legs. I think he is in the 100-104 range still, but he was not a tall man, if that makes a difference.
Thank you so much for sharing these insights into your life with Vernon – and a glimpse of his world. I pray for you both.
Thank you so much, Carolyn. I really appreciate it!
It seems like art is the best therapy – thank you for sharing the video of his creative process! I can’t help but think it does as much for him as any other type of therapy – maybe more. God bless you and your family, Allison. 🙂
As always, thank you for sharing your family’s journey through this very difficult time.