“I live my life in ever-widening circles that reach out across the world.” —Rainier Maria Rilke
Did you know that the Anniversary #5 is traditionally celebrated with gifts made of wood? Dendrochronology is the science of dating events and variations in former periods by comparative study of growth rings in trees. Think of a cut tree-trunk with a pattern of annual rings orbiting it’s center, protecting the heartwood as it grows. If there is damage or trauma to the trunk of the tree, the rings will record it, and there will be a mirrored abnormal pattern on every new circle on out until the whole trunk has changed its shape and righted itself. It becomes the tree’s thumbprint, so to speak, the story of its life imprinted one ring at a time. And isn’t it interesting that the center of the tree is called heartwood? It’s what over time becomes the strong spine of the tree.
I’ve also been thinking about how my relationship to Vernon #3 has changed over time. He’s no longer with us, I know, but part of his soul got mixed with mine and as long as I’m around, he’ll be a part of that soup. Without a doubt, he is in the children—their faces, mannerisms, intelligence. Whereas in earlier years, I could only describe his memory as sort of feeling all around me at times, ready to jump out and overwhelm me with rip currents of grief/trauma, now I feel like I’ve sewn him into a pocket of my heart, something small and manageable. An invisible carbon reduction. A diamond in reverse. A portable piece of star. Something I can live and travel with. The love hasn’t gone away, its just changed it’s form to whatever it is supposed to be now. (And that’s ok, I’ve morphed quite a bit too.)
Now we are at the five year mark. Well, we will be in a couple of days. I was only married to Vernon #1 for 7.5 years. And Vernon #2 for another 2.5. How lucky for me, I got three of him, each so different and each utterly lovable. He has been my greatest teacher so far. Mostly, he taught me how to love unconditionally. I know, especially after his accident, that he became a teacher to many others too. He’s still managing to fulfill his purpose.
These beautiful woodblock prints were created by an artist named Bryan Nash. He died at 52 years old…that’s how old Vernon would have been now. I know he would have also loved this work, as one of Vernon’s passions was wood-working. He deeply loved trees in general. Check out more of Bryan’s work and mission HERE.
“I found that things were as or more beautiful and complex inside than what was visible from the outside…You’ll never know what you’re missing if you don’t find some way to get inside and look.” —Bryan Nash
