Who was I? Who was he?
My Daughter, My Biographer

I’ve had writer’s block. But then, I think I’ve had appropriate-feelings block so i know there is a lot in the way, I’m trying to do the Grief Group workbook, but it feels tedious and boring, even thought I’ve only been in there two of the 14 weeks. I know its healthy, but it is hard for me to feel connected there. It feels surreal to be there…more of a dream than any other parts of my life. I want it to be more of a therapy session probably than actual tips on how to get through times of grief. I don’t want more tips. I want more catharsis. Doesn’t work like that, does it?

The other day I came across an e-course called Write Your Grief. It’s a 30 day program with other writers, trying to do just that: write their grief. I thought about it for a couple of days, not sure if I should join, not sure if I could make such a big commitment to write every day, to be on schedule like this with others—when I still feel so foggy and off.  But since it starts in two days, I signed up…and now I’m committed. Every day we are supposed to get a writing prompt from the instructor, a psychologist/widow who calls her work “emotionally intelligent grief support.” There will also be a private Facebook group for all the people taking the course, where we can share our writing with each other (or not.) I hope it helps me through some of the emotional blocks I feel like I’m living with at the moment. At least it should help with the writer’s block.

PS I discovered the course and the instructor via this podcast, which I thought was excellent. I liked her approach very much.

Also some good news: my friend Nikki from England is visiting for a week. She was one of the very first friends we made when we moved to Reading ten years ago. She’s seen the kids change and grow up from early days, and was there for a lot of the big things that happened when we lived there. We even moved into her house when she moved out. Hers was the last place we stayed before our morning trip to the airport to move out here. I even once bought a car from her dad. So she knew Vernon pretty well too.  She’s been great for helping my memories click in, helping round out the past which I haven’t spent much time thinking about for years. I was so focused on the moment…leaning in toward the future. And she brought CANDY! (English candy for the win!)

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We went whale watching yesterday. It was an overcast morning, we didn’t see any whales, not even dolphins. But we figure the negative ions worked wonders on her jet lag.

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But we did see some sea lions and a seagull, so all was not lost. 🙂

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“There’s no such thing as writer’s block. That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.”
Terry Pratchett

 

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Who was I? Who was he?
My Daughter, My Biographer