I had to go to the Civic Center/Courthouse this morning to manage some business paperwork. This is the same building that Vernon and I first got married in….with Maki as our 4 year old witness. I remember taking a break from work in order to do the ceremony. We stopped and got rings from the trinket machine at Toys R Us. I didn’t dress up, but I did wear a new white summer blouse. (I wrote about the day here.)
There were so many girls in white dresses today. I felt a little funny taking care of my boring business, while betrothed couples waited in the queue behind me. I imagine if you need a boost of romance in your life, you might take your lunch break on the local Civic Center grounds. There are certainly a lot of couples with the light of Possibility shining in their eyes! Each with a different past and future, sharing the present: an official commitment to life with their mates. But surely some had been married before—maybe divorced, maybe widowed. Some were already in long term relationships and finally taking this step. Some might be spontaneous, some saving money. Some of these marriages might not last. But in this moment they expect them to. Or maybe not? Maybe some were marrying for convenience or a Green Card. It’s not for me to know. But to get to witness the joy of the day, in passing all these strangers, is a soul-filler for me.
By the way, I still wear my real wedding ring (not the plastic one.) I sometimes wonder how long society would approve of my wearing it. It feels too strange to take it off yet…and ultimately, it makes my life less complicated too! 🙂 On that note…a public tip: If you wonder if it is too soon to ask a widow/widower when they are going to date again…the answer is: it is. That is for the widowed person to tell you—if she or he wants to—not the other way around.
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“That is for the widowed person to tell you—if she or he wants to—not the other way around.”
Love it. Well said my friend. You are too cool for school. Keep drumming to your own beat!
beautiful insight to your day , happy memories to remember..i have clicked on the link ..so special to see those photos of that day..Mum and Dad said how magical it was, how happy you both looked .. wish I could have been there , (but life and small children made it impossible)..but i did get to be there for your 10th anniversary..the same garden, same people?? ,but this time no parents.. as grief and old age made it impossible…
As for dating ..who would ask??? Still such early days .. i know as i sit here if anything happened to Paul ..i would never take of my wedding rings, i would wear his too.. as for dating .. really don`t think so … love and grief and life is a personnel thing ..no one should ask ..but wait to be told xx
xx love to you all xx maybe a chance to be in that garden again together?? xx
Allison,
What a beautiful sight with all the ladies in white. As far as I am concerned you can wear you wedding ring from Vernon for ever or it you find someone else it will be different. But hold on for the kids and for you.
Becky
Allison I just had to write a comment today – what you wrote was all so precious and touching! I would love to see you write a book or put your blogs in a book…because its obvious you love to write and you do it so well. Your sentiments are so touching. The pictures of your wedding bring back wonderful memories of that enchanted evening!! I’m so glad we were there! We both send you a big hug full of love, Joe and Nancy
thank you again Allison for sharing. very insightful, no asking, i love your straitforwardness. its refreshing and necessary!
i agree with Nancy.
much love to you and your BEAUTIES